If you look through our blog, you'll see that we've had quite difficult summers over the years...this one was especially hard.
My mom renovated the house maybe 10 years ago and at the time instead of purging, she had them make "more places" for her to store things...
So when we were de-cluttering, it was a "treasure trove" full of stuff in boxes.
You just don't realize how much stuff can fit in a closet until you have to actually empty it.
The rule of "if you haven't opened a box, looked at the contents in a couple of years, you probably do not need it" is true.
My mom kept everything...receipts, documents, you name it, she had it neatly filed away.
And while it was interesting looking at documents from my parents first couple years of marriage! their grades from elementary school and such, shredding all those documents was not fun.
I overheated and overloaded the shredder too many times to count.
A quote that I heard on a "Super Soul" podcast by Abraham Joshua Heschel kind of stuck out in my mind, "Things when magnified are forgeries of happiness" (It's not that we shouldn't have "things" we should just appreciate what we do have and make the most use of them.)
When deadlines arose, (I think) personalities of people really showed.
It kind of reminded me of the different ways my brother and I did homework...I was the type to "just get it done", so I would have more time to get out and play.
My brother, on the other hand, seemed to be the opposite, he would (procrastinate or maybe he was just more thorough) stay up late the night before something was due...
She probably won't miss me, but I will truly miss "hugging" (terrorizing) her and having our "conversations".
I know she was stressed seeing everything being brought out of closets, her hiding places taken away.
She let us know she was stressed (maybe even depressed) by peeing everywhere EXCEPT where she was supposed to.
I got first hand of this when I sat in one of her "puddles" when she had peed in a chair, stepped in one when she peed on my slipper and once when she did so in or near my suitcase (actually she probably is getting back at me for all the terrorizing...)
She is not the cuddly type and I was totally not a cat person before meeting her but I am thankful for her keeping me "zen".
I am also thankful for my Aunties (blood and not), BFF, V and the many friends who took the time out of their busy schedules to spend some time with me, for keeping me "zen" and on track.
Very thankful that I don't have to work, so I can do these all these "chapters" in life.
Also appreciate the virtual and real life friends who reached out and shared their "purging" stories as well as their hurdles in selling their family homes.
It reassured me that I was not alone going through these things and was definitely not the first to do so.
Very thankful for Satoshi for letting me be away from him this long...thankful for technology so we could facetime (so that I could help him find stuff around the house as well as be his "alarm clock"...)
You should know that while I was here, MIL fell and was hospitalized (BIL says she is on the mend and should be discharged soon) and Satoshi's nephew's wife had a baby (when I get back to Japan, we are sending them LOTS of diapers!)...
I also hope the family that is purchasing this house will enjoy living in this neighborhood and enjoy the house.
It has been a long yet short 90-plus days here.
As always, it was delicious (maybe too delicious?! I need to go on a diet!!)
This summer was krazy super hot and humid.
And if you are worried that I won't be back to Hawaii, I will, my stay may not be as long, but next year, some time after the (Tokyo) Olympics...I need to renew my license (hoping "that" adventure won't be too painful)
Thank you Mom and Dad, I will treasure the memories of this house and you.
Take care and be well.
Talk to you from the other side of the world.
Aww so sad, one chapter ends and more await to be opened. It's the process of the cycle of life, esp since you grew up in that household so there are so many memories of all of you. The parties, the laughter, the tears. All the stuff of family and your parents sound so great, may the rest in peace. I commend you to having clean out that entire house - my mom was like that - and my brother more worse. A pair of packrats! My brother kept everything too so much that it was too much to shred so I pretended I was BBQ-ing in the backyard and burned everything. Took a while but it was finally gone.
ReplyDeleteI hope your closing goes well, I sold to a military and they had a VA loan and the inspector for them was a lotta swear words! He wanted to take apart the jacuzzi to see if it was still okay inside -this was an indoor jacuz! My realtor told me VA loans are a pain, he ought to know he's a vet himself. We were getting so PO'd at the other realtors my realtor threatened to yank the deal! They finally behaved. It was an emotional rollercoaster. House selling is soooo stressful - I had a good realtor who shielded me from most of the craziness thank goodness. Good Luck to you and Best wishes to your brother as his new adventure begins! -N
You got a lot done! Wishing everything goes smoothly with the closing! I hear you on the purging, my father kept everything from the loan on the house to current receipts etc.
ReplyDeleteRegarding your license, make an appointment online, I hear it is booked 2 to 4 months in advance since they started this appointment system. You can still walk in, but there is a significant wait time. Also you may need to have documents for renewal, marriage license etc. They will scan and keep it on file. http://www.honolulu.gov/cms-csd-menu/site-csd-sitearticles/33226-driver-license-renewal-tips-current.html
Take care Kat,
Mich
OMG. Tears are running down my face. Such a touching, nostalgic post.
ReplyDeleteToo bad much of the weather here seemed so similar to what you try to escape, but bright side, you found shave ice with lemon peel!
I'm like your brother. Waited until the last moment to do homework (if at all)!
I've also been looking at my house thinking I better get started on purging too. My gf who has only a son said she doesn't want to burden him with having to go through cleaning out her house when she's gone so I keep thinking that too. But.... At least I've picked up some how to's from your posts and readers' comments, when (if) I actually get around to it.
Glad to have spent time with you, wish we could have spent more (so many more places to eat!)
Take care!
v
Is your brother giving up your "niece?" I know he is moving as well, but wondered if he wasn't going to take her.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story. It's bittersweet, with one chapter closing and another opening. I've been purging my parents possessions, since they both passed away. But they were both packrats, so it's been a challenge. I don't have a deadline, so I do it when I feel like it. I'll feel sad when I sell my childhood home. Good luck to you and your brother. I hope you get to see your "niece" again. Take care. ~ @kabocha808
ReplyDeleteTaihen otsukare sama deshi ta, Kat ... A physically and emotionally difficult task well done. I can completely relate to all that you've been through... thank you always for your thoughtful & beautiful writings. Belated congratulations on your blog's 14th anniversary (your reader in Southern Cali. for over ten years)!
ReplyDeleteTake very good care.
Thanks N, our realtor is also shielding us from a lot of things too, so grateful for him.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jalna!
Will definitely make an appointment Mich, thanks for the heads up!
I'll help you purge stuff, next time I'm home V!
No Anon, he will bring her with him when he moves.
Thanks Kabocha808, hope your adventure will go smoothly too!
Thank you Reader in SC, hope to meet you next time you are in Japan!
Take care everyone.
Kat
The little one....must be so stressed. Glad you made it through things....bittersweet, indeed. Makes me think of clearing out the apartment after my mom passed away. Safe travels.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing this particular period in your life - it was bittersweet to read, only because I know that one day I will have to go through it myself. I think after all this, Satoshi will be taking you on a real and proper vacation in Japan, yes??!
ReplyDeleteI hope so Rowena :)
ReplyDeleteTake care.
Kat