Sunday, March 29, 2009

1 year service

On the 15th, we got together for my FIL's 1 year memorial service. Not only was it a memorial service, but we also put my FIL's ashes into the family grave.

The service was performed earlier than the actual day because of the schedule of the priest.

Up until now, we hadn't seen my MIL cry out loud, usually just dabbing tears here and there, but I guess this service upset her because she broke down. I guess because it would truly be her last "goodbye".

One tidbit, in Eastern Japan most keep the ashes in a ceramic container inside of the grave, but in Western Japan most put the ashes into a fabric bag so that the ashes can truly return back to the Earth.

Rewind to the 8th, we got together to see the new family grave. It was rebuilt in January so that my FIL's ashes would be able to be put in.

If you remember, we had gotten together back then to check out the Hyatt's Japanese restaurant, Touzan.

Well, after the service to see the new grave, we went back to Touzan for lunch and finalize our plans for the memorial service.

Satoshi and my BIL had the sushi lunch and my MIL and I had the tempura donburi lunch.

Luckily, the 1 year service went smoothly, my FIL's ashes went into the family grave. The days up until the service were rainy so we were glad that the weather was cooperative on that Sunday.

Lunch went smoothly too. Everyone enjoyed the boxed lunch and after a filling lunch, the immediate family went up to the lobby lounge to have dessert.

I can't believe how fast the year went by, today is the actual memorial day. Next year is the 3 year service. It is actually the 2 year but the Japanese have a complex way of counting things, which if you ask a Japanese they may or may not be able to explain.

I hope my MIL will start getting out more now that my FIL's ashes have been put into the grave, for the past year she has stayed at home because "she didn't want to leave my FIL at home by himself". I guess it may take some time though...


Anonymous said...

My sympathies to your mother-in-law. It must be hard to say goodbye one last time after having someone in your life for so long.

On a lighter note, I was looking at the photo on the bottom and wondering "Kat mentioned dessert, I wonder what kind of dessert that is," then I clicked on the photo to discovered it was actually pickles!

K and S said...

Sorry Anon, I wanted to photograph the dessert we had but didn't want to take my camera out in front of the family :(

Take care.

Deb said...

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. . . we both said goodbye to our FIL's at roughly the same time:( I feel for all of you, especially your MIL - seeing it firsthand with mine, it's heartbreaking:( MIL still talks to FIL's ashes - I find it sweet.

Sounds like the day went beautifully. Food and fellowship does a lot to help the heart.

Lynne said...

My sympathies to your MIL and family. Hopefully, this will bring in closure to her and your family.

Deb in Hawaii said...

So many interesting and unique customs there. It is good you can all support your MIL. I hope she does get out more now that it is more final.

K and S said...

Thanks Deb. I miss the Sunday dinners my family has back home.

Thanks Lynne :)

Thanks Deb, I hope so too :)

Take care everyone!

manju said...

Gosh, my heart jumped into my throat when I read the part about your MIL not wanting to leave her husband's ashes alone... it really puts the focus on appreciating your loved ones when they're here. Glad to know she's spending more time outside now with you.

K and S said...

Thank you Manju, my MIL still stays in whenever she can, we hope she will eventually want to go out.

Take care.